How you can help your children manage anxiety during the Restricted Movement Order
On March 18th, the Movement Control Order (MCO) came into effect and disrupted our predictable lives and probably for the first time, parents will be spending whole weeks, 24/7 with their children. So, what do you do when the world as you know it becomes uncertain, unfamiliar, and downright dangerous? While you manage your own mental health and new work habits, you are expected to play the multiple roles of your child’s teacher, counsellor, and friend as your family comes to terms with our new reality. The additional pressure can be overwhelming. This is new. All of us are learning and we will make mistakes. It is alright to wing it. The focus in this new “normal” is resilience and we can help our children and ourselves with these steps as a start.
Help your younger and older children cope with this sudden life change by supporting them in these ways:
Create a new routine and stick with it
Although you can reset your alarm clocks later now that you don’t need to rush to make the 7.20am school bell, start the day at a regular time every day and set clear goals. Your children will have planned schoolwork to complete. Older children will need additional study or reading time, while younger ones might like to explore projects they didn’t have time for previously. Talk to your children about their plans for the day and check back when you get together at mealtimes. Doing this might also help you plan your workday as you juggle home and work lives. Your family may be tempted to stay up and watch the news or Netflix but keep to your schedule and get the much-needed rest by keeping to reasonable bedtimes so the whole family start fresh and positive for the next day.
Talk to your children about their plans for the day and check back when you get together at mealtimes.
Help your children understand how you will protect them and how they can protect themselves
The COVID-19 virus is one of many health threats your children will encounter in their lifetimes. Explain to your children how disease is spread in this globally connected world and recommend good health and life habits to follow, not only for their own safety, but for others as well. Older children may worry about climbing infection rates and may be shaken by the uncertainty of the future. Give them space to ask questions and reassure them that although the present looks bleak, the future will improve. The world will change in many ways, but you will face it together as a family.
Plan fun projects together
You don’t need to be on holiday to plan fun family activities together. Whether it is washing the car, trying a new recipe, building a play tent or playing a board game, there’s nothing to stop you planning activities that inject a sense of togetherness and positivity into the day. Capture it all on video or an image journal for TikTok #quarantinelife #newnormal, or keep it private on a family Instagram account. Looking back at the different projects and activities you do as a family is a record of how you prevailed in this challenging time.
Turn body weight exercises such as planks, squats, jumping jacks and high jumps into a friendly competition with younger children.
Get Active
Although movement is restricted, there are plenty of options to stay active and keep your spirits up. If you live in an apartment, take the stairs instead of the lift. Turn body weight exercises such as planks, squats, jumping jacks and high jumps into a friendly competition with younger children. For the older kids, search YouTube for dancercise videos such as the Fitness Marshall, mix it up with Tabata or barre options with PopSugarFitness or try toning with FunkRoberts. Children can also be persuaded to produce the family entertainment such as concerts and singing – you could also dust off your boogie moves and join in.
Alternatively, enroll your children into “the Helper Ninja course” by gamifying house chores. Not only will your family get that much-needed burst of happy hormones and praise, but your children will learn to take responsibility for keeping the home clean.
Acknowledge fears and reframe negativity
With the economy in a worrying state and the constant streaming on social media and the news about the latest COVID-19 statistics, you may find it difficult not to be negative and anxious. Children pick up on our anxiety so dedicate a time in the day when you talk about your feelings and worries as a family. Write these down, if necessary, and decide how you can work through challenges within your control.
Embrace the depth of anxiety and isolation you feel as a family, understand that as a family you will need to deal with anger and feelings of helplessness and isolation. One way is to reframe our take on the situation. Instead of “I am stuck at home with nothing to do”, give it a productive slant – “I now have time for myself and my learning/music/project”. You have the gift of time and opportunity to learn and explore. And the beautiful gift of having time to enjoy your children.
Understand that as a family you will need to deal with anger and feelings of helplessness and isolation.
If your child lives with another parent, or you live apart from your child, work out a regular schedule to communicate positively and meaningfully as a co-parent team. Being supportive and maintaining good relationships for your own, and ultimately, your children’s welfare and wellbeing, will help every family member stay grounded and foster much-needed emotional capital to help each other through tough times.
Because teenagers are more at risk for depression, watch for signs of prolonged listlessness, irritability and detachment. Be present and tell your teen that you are there to listen without judgment or advice. Although, we might be tempted to suggest solutions, sometimes, a hug is all that is needed.
With the MCO being extended, the ways we live, love and laugh will all be new. Stay positive and connected with family and friends – you are not alone. In these fluid times, reach out for that added support and find joy in the simplest acts of compassion.
Nina Adlan Disney is the Executive Director of LeapEd Services (“LeapEd”). LeapEd is a social enterprise and Malaysia’s first homegrown education service provider, using evidenced-based and international best practices to design, develop and deliver a range of education transformation initiatives in Malaysia, including the flagship Trust Schools Programme. Nina is a pioneer in the sector and has over 30 years of experience in public and private schools, vocational training, higher education and professional development.