IDENTITY CRISIS: The Unspoken Truth of Motherhood & The Power of Community

IDENTITY CRISIS: The Unspoken Truth of Motherhood & The Power of Community

Motherhood is both beautiful and complex, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming. I’m Sofea Mastan, and I want to share my personal story. My journey into motherhood started off rocky. While I was expecting to feel joy, I was met with unexpected emotions. This is my story.

 

The day I first held my baby, everything I had seen in movies and read in books led me to expect a flood of instant love. But as I looked down at my newborn, instead of warmth, I felt a hollow emptiness. This wasn’t the “love at first sight” motherhood that everyone talked about. It threw me into a deep, confusing postpartum depression. Despite being surrounded by friends and family ready to support me, I felt an isolating loneliness that seemed to deepen with each day. This was not the joyous introduction to motherhood I had envisioned it was a stark and unsettling reality check.

 

“This wasn’t the “love at first sight” motherhood that everyone talked about. It threw me into a deep, confusing postpartum depression.”

 

Four years later, when I was preparing to welcome my second child, I felt ready. My career was thriving, and I worked almost up to my due date, confident and anticipating a smoother experience this time. Indeed, the delivery went more smoothly than with my first. But on the second night after we brought my baby home, as I sat there breastfeeding at 2 AM, the hauntingly familiar waves of exhaustion and overwhelming emotions hit me again. Tears streamed down my face as I whispered to myself, “Why did I do this again?” Despite being more experienced, those old, unsettling feelings of doubt and frustration resurfaced, echoing my first journey into motherhood.

 

 

After choosing to be a full-time mom with my first daughter, I found myself struggling more than I had anticipated. I felt lost. I felt like I didn’t have an identity besides being “mommy”. So, while some mothers find deep fulfilment in staying at home, I realised it was not the path for me. I love my daughters— now 6 years old and 20 months old—immensely, and they have truly made me stronger and better as both a mom and a person. Yet, I also know that I needed to pursue my own career and persona interests to feel fulfilled.

 

“While some mothers find deep fulfilment in staying at home, I realised it was not the path for me.”

 

Facing My Shadows

 

In the beginning, I struggled with feelings of not being good enough and guilt. I wondered why I wasn’t feeling the joy that other new moms talked about. Those early days were tough, and they made me face the truth: my feelings didn’t make me a bad mom – right? I can’t be the only one feeling this, so I started to reach out more to friends, family, and other moms, which led to us to having a little group chat just for us moms. I shared my hard times and good times, asked for advice when I needed it, and gave support when others needed it.

 

Without even realising, our group chat just kept growing. More moms wanted to join in the conversation and share their stories. I was surprised to find so many stories that were similar yet uniquely different. One mom talked about the challenges of living with her in-laws and how tough it was to cope sometimes. Other moms in the group would offer her comfort, and some could relate because they were going through similar situations. Despite the fact that none of us had met in person, we found comfort in each other’s words. It felt like a hotline where we could talk about anything and everything. No matter the time of day, there was always someone there to respond.

 

There are plenty of mother’s group chats out there, but most of them focused on their kids—like which medicine is safe for certain ages and so on. But I wanted something different. I wanted a “mom gang” that talked about us, the moms—about how we’re doing and checking in on our emotional well-being. This made our group really stand out and it quickly became a place where we could all feel supported, not just as moms, but as individuals too.

 

 

As our group kept growing, we reached over 500 moms, and that’s how Grow and Glow Mama was officially born. This community gave me strength. It showed me it’s okay to ask for help and that needing help doesn’t make me any less of a person. In fact, having the support made me a better, more present mom. Creating this network made parenting easier and helped me connect with life beyond being a mom. It reminded me that while motherhood is a big part of who I am, it’s not all me.

 

“Grow & Glow Mama reminded me that while motherhood is a big part of who I am, it’s not all me.”

 

Grow & Glow Mama- The Heart of Our Mission

 

The essence of Grow & Glow Mama is to ensure that every mother knows she is not alone. We are here to validate, support, and uplift each other through genuine understanding and solidarity. Our platform is open to all, without a membership fee, because true community support should be unconditional and accessible to every mother.

 

Our community is a tapestry of diverse maternal journeys, each thread vibrant with its own stories of triumph and challenge. We’re here to affirm that no emotional response to motherhood is “incorrect” and that all feelings are valid.

 

 

Every now and then, we plan get-togethers or events to bring us moms together- whether it’s getting together for some ‘me-time’ without the kids or playdates to places that are kid-friendly, there’s something for any mom who needs some emotional support. Here, every mother is celebrated, every struggle is acknowledged, and together, we grow stronger and glow brighter.

 

So if you’re feeling a little alone in your motherhood journey, feel free to check out Grow & Glow Mama at www.growandglowmama.com or on our Instagram (@growandglowmama) where you’ll find a link to join our little community of moms.