Have you ever encountered a new mummy in need of some encouragement and a confidence boost?
For many of us, the newborn period of a baby’s life is one of the most challenging experiences we may go through. From the multiple night-time wakings and hormone imbalance to the immense pressures of breastfeeding (if you choose to), this particular period of a woman’s life can be especially difficult.
Lots of new mummies report themselves feeling anxious and having negative/ depressive thoughts during this period and it can get really overwhelming.
So What Can We Do About This?
A lot of people may try different ways to get rid of their negative thoughts, including distractions, diversions or ‘drowning their sorrows’. Most of the time these negative thoughts are forgotten temporarily but then just build up and haunt you later.
Instead of this, the key is to recognise and step back from these negative thought patterns, and this is called cognitive defusion. Learning to step back from thoughts Cognitive defusion is about1:
- Looking at thoughts rather than from them
- Noticing thoughts rather than getting caught up or buying into the thought
- Letting thoughts come and go rather than holding onto the thought.
New mummies can adopt this approach by identifying negative thoughts and changing them to POSITIVE ones!
My Personal Experience
I had a lot of negative thoughts during both my boys’ newborn phase, but the first was the WORST! I hated the newborn phase. While everyone else was saying that it was the easiest, I felt like it was the worst. There were so many days that I felt entirely overwhelmed and consumed by the responsibility of being a new mother, of not getting it how I wanted it to be and how things didn’t exactly go how I pictured it to be.
It came to a point that once my 1st born was 2 years old and was a little more independent, I was so happy that I was finally out of that baby period. But then, I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant again and I cried my eyes out knowing what I would need to go through that newborn period all over again.
When my second son was born, I was more prepared – prepared mentally that things will not always go the way you want it to be. I managed my expectations and learned more about positive self-talk. I began to feel better and was a lot less anxious about my role as a mum.
How to Practice Positive Self-Talk
Some people might find it ridiculous to talk to yourself and do affirmations, but it works! Lots of successful and happy people use affirmations daily. Similar to exercise, positive affirmations can actually increase the amount of feel-good hormones in our brains.
Positive thoughts = positive emotions = Improved mental, emotional, and physical health
First step is to become aware. Each time you catch yourself with a negative thought, slow down and remind yourself to THINK POSITIVE.
You could also set yourself a specific time in the day (I do it first thing in the morning or right before bed) to spend some time going through these positive affirmations. That way, you’re committing yourself to do it every day and making it a habit.
Here I’ve listed down 15 positive affirmations every new mom needs to hear!
Choose a few that relates to you most and start repeating these positive words. You’ll find that you’ll start feeling better about yourself, your capabilities as a mother and the newborn phase in general.
15 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS EVERY NEW MUM NEEDS TO HEAR
1. I am doing my best and that is enough.
2. I have EVERYTHING I need to be the BEST mother to my baby.
3. I trust my instincts to do what is best for my baby.
4. I welcome the challenge of motherhood with grace, gratitude, and a warm heart filled with love.
5. It is OKAY if I can’t do everything on my own.
6. I accept the help of others.
7. I am surrounded by those who love, support, and respect me.
8. I only allow positive energy in my home.
9. My body is amazing and has done an incredible job of bringing new life into the world.
10. My baby does not care about my flaws. They won’t remember the tough times, only how much I LOVE them.
11. I will prioritise self-care so that I can be the best mum possible.
12. I choose today to be happy and grateful for my life.
13. I have great trust in myself and my capabilities.
14. I am worthy of love and have the capacity to love.
15. I feel confident. I feel safe. I feel secure.
Reference:
1 https://www.sydney.edu.au/content/dam/students/documents/counselling-and-mental-health-support/cognitive-defusion.pdf
