The importance of Parents in one’s life is quite evident from this noteworthy quotation.
The way we parent our children will affect how they are being brought up and the person that they will be in the future. That’s a huge responsibility.
This July, in conjunction with Parents’ Day, we want to celebrate, recognize, and uplift the important role of parents in raising children, to promote the importance of family commitment and parental responsibilities.
As if parenting on normal days ain’t hard enough, parenting during a pandemic and while on lockdown may be even harder for some.
We’ve reached to some mummies to share their stories and experience parenting during a pandemic and here are their stories. Can you relate?
Jessie Koo, Kuala Lumpur
Blog: www.malaysianparenting.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/malaysianparenting
Parenting in a pandemic ain’t easy when it comes to juggling between work and personal life. Since last year, covid-19 has changed many lives. Parents like us have to work from home, at the same time kids doing their online study. In my case, we need 4 laptops. Each of us need our own space to attend Zoom meetings or Zoom studies, which literally makes our home sound like a pasar malam with lots of talking.
Imagine each family members owning their own schedule and timing. Families with a bigger home space are lucky enough but for those who don’t, we are confined to station ourselves either at the dining area, bedrooms and even in the kitchen.
We see ourselves working around the clock – day job, cleaning the home, cooking, taking care of kids and we could mistake ourselves as zombies when looking at the mirror!
My kids love to look back at our photobooks, remembering the happy times.
Meanwhile, here are some pointers that I’d like to share:
- Take small breaks in between work daily.
- When we are working and can’t monitor our children, please ensure they are at a safe place – avoiding kitchen and toilets
for younger kids to avoid injuries. - Get kids busy with some books or favourite toys, enjoying mini sports at home and educational videos are good too.
- It’s important to take some time off at night, during weekends and public holidays to spend more time with the kids to make sure they do not feel lonely or left out. Throw them hugs, share some stories and jokes.
- Sharing parenting challenges online at parenting group platforms or video calls with families will help us emotionally.
- Be kinder to ourselves, spoil the kids with some snacks and cakes ordered online – it need not be any occasion.
- Have some ME time. It’s ok too if we want to dress up and make-up at home to refresh ourselves a little.
Remember it’s ok to feel stress and depressed at times, as you are not alone. Hang on there, be safe and stay positive. Let’s assure our children that we are going through this period together!
Priscilla Steven, Kuala Lumpur
When it comes to staying home, some of us really enjoy it, but many do fret about it. We all have our share of the story. How
has it been for those with only one child and that child is a teenager? The age which says, less parents and more friends.
I used to say, I wish I could spend more time at home and tadaa…it’s granted!
So, “Be careful what you wish for”. For me, it’s been a blessing! FOR ME! Because I can keep an eye on my child but imagine for that child! Too bad Zac, your 15 to 16 years turned up under lock and check! There are three adults at home and all 3 pairs of eyes are constantly on this 16-year-old!
“Zac, why have you not done up your bed?” Zac are you studying? Zac why are you on the phone all the time – Zac…Zac… Zac…!”
We thought about it and we decided to give him some breathing space. TRUST that he is doing the right thing. During family time we do fun activities that he likes – miniature buildings, 3D pen designs, videos and so on. If he doesn’t want to talk – leave him for a while. Teenagers do need friend-time!
We all have our times, don’t we?
We must respect them, even a little child needs his personal TIME. Understand them, for we were once that age too.
But don’t ignore them. Listen when they speak. Involve them in important discussions. Share news, tell them what is happening around. They need to know! Teach them what is right, change the negativity around us to plus points. For the home is where it all begins!
So, what did we do? We LEARN, LIVE & LOVE
Learn: Yes, there’s so much out there we can learn about and learn from. It is not wrong to do what we enjoy and spend time doing it. Be it drawing, singing, writing, playing games, cooking. Do put up a schedule which will keep you occupied. Don’t feel bad about spending time doing your favourite activity, but learn something good out of it and not just waste time on it. Parents, children learn and emulate what we do. So, watch your backs!
Live: It’s honestly a fresh start for all of us! Think about it. Have we ever thought about being able to spend time like this at home, with our families? So, enjoy every moment and live every day counting every single blessing! It will surely multiply for more goodness. Has anyone ever counted a negative blessing?
Love: The greatest of ALL is to LOVE! We formed this family out of LOVE but then what happens when we are given time to spend with that LOVE we wanted? So, love and you will see it unfolding beautifully each day. Most important is to Love yourselves! After all, Love made us.
When the kids are younger, we will want them to grow up faster. But now I miss the younger days…when he was little, for those times when he used to come around saying, “Amma, carry me!” Don’t rush for the child to grow, let them grow at their pace, enjoy all the moments, the mess, the need for you to be with them, for there will come a time you will wish that they could spend more time with you! So Covid-19 should be taken as a blessing in disguise for having closer family ties and stronger parental bonds. Take it easy – we will miss these times when it is gone!
Koo Pooi Yee, Setapak, KL
Blog: www.myweekendtreat.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/yeekoo17/
Parenting during a pandemic is challenging and creates an emotionally tense environment in our home. We are physically and mentally affected by this Covid-19 pandemic. No usual weekend outing with my kids that we used to enjoy and no travelling. We have to adapt to the new norm and practice all these SOP terms that create many curious questions from our children.
“What is SOP mummy??” Fear, stress and anxiety are the feelings that surrounds us this pandemic. Kids seem to be happy knowing that mummy and daddy are working from home. But the reality is most of the time they are being scolded because they are not concentrating during their Google class and parents are busy working with tight deadlines and back-to-back meetings. Our daily routine is being scheduled. We have 5 laptops (parents and 3 schooling kids), one Wifi connection to be shared among us adding on with 3 other family members. One of the biggest challenges is to get a stable connection and when there is a line interruption, all become havoc!!
Another concern is space. Kids are sharing table learning at the living hall while me and hubby share the same working desk.
Honestly, sometimes when we face each other for too long, kids and hubby do irritate me.
Stressful workloads, demanding deadlines, and worrying about losing our job, all create frustration and I can’t control that temper when kids are throwing tantrums and fighting with each other.
At the same time, I am worried for my kids’ eyesight, and keep nagging them to have balance time for playing computer games. They have google class from morning until 1pm and continue to play games after a few hours. The hilarious part is hearing the daily statement from my kids “I am Hungry!”. It seems to be easy task, but not at the right timing when you have to join zoom meeting that seems like a never-ending or when you’re handling an urgent task. I am thankful that my mum in law prepares our daily home-cooked food and takes care of my little kiddos.
After the first MCO period, I began to learn and adapt to this pandemic routine. A more organized schedule and plan reduce unnecessary stress and balance our emotions to create a healthier environment in our family.
Zubaidah Abd Razak Cheras, Kuala Lumpur
Honestly there are moments that are quite challenging and extremely fun while having three kids- Standard 3 (9Y), Kindergarten (6Y) and the Baby Boss (3Y) during this pandemic. I juggle between their online classes, school homework and being a part-time teacher, on top of the house chores. Plus being an online seller that enjoys doing Shopee Live and FB Live, it is quite challenging to keep a harmony live session with your kids being your co-host with a war breaking out in between at times.
The way I handle it is by always being grateful that I have my family to spend time with while there are people that have no one to physically talk and cuddle while in need. My tips to all parents out there, this pandemic is the moment that we can unite as a real family and enjoy doing many things like pray, play and eat together. Enjoy while it lasts!
Prema Narayanan, Bukit Indah, Johor Bahru
This MCO 3.0 is definitely very challenging because when I work from home and at the same time have to take care of my daughter Thejasvini who is 2 years 6 months old, her father Ramesh Babu has been stuck in Singapore since September 2020.
The most challenging part about working from home is cooking and feeding my daughter on time and at the same time responding to office work as I work in a HR department. I have to do online submissions on behalf of the company, preparation of letters, paychecks, etc. I would say handling a toddler single handedly is very challenging as we need to be more patient.
The tantrum before shower time or bedtime and seeking attention, seriously it will make you super exhausted. Staying apart from your partner during this pandemic is also not easy. Moreover when my daughter asks where her father is, it will make me mentally and emotionally breakdown sometimes. It’s not an easy life when you have to manage all on your own.
To simplify my daily routine during this period, I started to google for simple recipes and cooked simple meals that were very easy for us and trust me, sometimes Grab Food & Food Panda – they are the savior. In our free time, my daughter and I would spend time baking cupcakes, gardening, playing Lego or watching my daughter’s favorite YouTube channel Diana & Roma.
The best feeling is a sense of relief when my husband helps me buy groceries online every week, this is also to reduce our exposure to crowded places. We also have our family time in the evenings via video calls. It’s our favourite time of the day to bond, see each other, we talk, make funny faces and laugh a lot before going to bed. Thanks to technology, we are able to connect with loved ones at any time.
Sometimes, we also have bad days and struggles. I find that when you worry about it less and just go with the flow, everything will be just fine. I know this is a difficult time, but we are all in the same boat here, so we’ll have to do this together and be positive.
Tetty, Shah Alam
Working at home has always been my dream. But being stuck at home 24/7 is a different story. Friends and colleagues think I have it all easy coz I have 2 teenage girls, but no, it’s not all that rosy here in this house. Online school happens at the same time for both girls, and it’s night time class for my 3rd one because teachers assume parents will be free at night.
Well wrong!
It’s a constant struggle juggling work and household chores and keeping an eye on my 4 year old son and 7 year old daughter. He’s usually awake at the same time when everyone is rushing for work, for school etc and she will be on the smartphone or ipad 24/7 if not monitored. Work is never 9 to 6 too since you’re already at home so it’s ‘convenient’ to have meetings and training after 6 especially when we have colleagues from different time zones. Having a proper workstation ‘away’ from the household chaos helps a lot, but ya, mothers have 6th sense and a quiet house is very suspicious.
All in all, I just go with the flow and do my best to keep up with the work schedule. There is a thin line between work and life balance. You just have to find ways that suit you and your family.
Florence Dairiam, Sungai Buloh
It is extremely challenging to handle growing children especially, children who are in the transition period of becoming young adults. During this lockdown, patience is what I practice though most of the time, you are at the verge of exploding.
I have a daughter and two sons. They have completely different interests, in a different world and of course more technology
savvy. I try to develop their interest but I do face rejection. It takes time for both parties to understand each other. I know that I need to persevere and move on and to never give up.
To have that bond, I started going jogging with my daughter. I truly enjoyed the moments but there was rejection from my sons. I feel that I should think of something different to be with them. Anyway, thinking and adapting keeps me alert and makes me feel young.
Probably, I should start playing online games with them.
Why not?
Rosnani bt Md Pungot, Dengkil, Selangor
As a single mother of three adult women, I still have my worries and nightmares about them especially during this trying time. Not being able to see them as freely and as I wish is still heartbreaking. I still worry about their safety whenever they’re at work or even when they’re out buying groceries with their families.
To lessen the pain, we get in touch everyday through social media.
Sharing our thoughts, things we do, food we eat etc. Everyday I pray to God to give us a chance to be normal again, to give us strength to face this trying phase. We, become good listeners, we lend shoulders to cry on and we build our own support system to help each other deal with our struggles.
Bottom line is, a parent never stops thinking and worrying about their children’s well-being no matter how old they are. This undeniable love was built in our hearts the minute we’re called parents.
