Being a mom is one of the most rewarding roles in life, but let’s be honest—it’s also one of the most demanding. Between juggling school runs, work deadlines, household chores, and the endless needs of your little ones, it’s easy to feel like there’s no time left for you.

 

In Malaysia, where family and cultural expectations can add an extra layer of pressure, many moms find themselves striving to meet impossibly high standards. But at what cost?

 

The truth is, neglecting your mental health and well-being doesn’t just affect you—it impacts your entire family.

 

Research shows that moms who prioritise self-care and mental wellness are better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting. They report lower levels of stress, improved relationships with their children, and a greater sense of fulfilment in their roles.

 

But, self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days (though those are nice too!); it’s about creating habits that nourish your mind, body, and soul. So, let’s explore practical, realistic ways for busy moms to incorporate self-care and mindfulness into their routines—without adding more stress to their plates of course!

 

Practical Tips for Prioritising Mental Health

Self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming or complicated. It’s about making small, intentional choices that add up to big changes in your mental and emotional well-being. Here are some practical tips to help you prioritise your mental health, even on the busiest days:

 

#1 Start Small: Micro-Moments of Self-Care

You don’t need hours of free time to practice self-care. Sometimes, it’s the little moments that make the biggest difference. Here are a few ideas:

• Take 5 minutes to sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, and exhale for 6 counts. This simple practice can help calm your mind and reduce stress.
• Instead of gulping your coffee or tea down while multitasking, take a moment to truly enjoy it. Let it be a mini escape from the chaos.
• Keep a small journal by your bedside and jot down your thoughts or feelings before bed. It’s a great way to release pent-up emotions and reflect on your day.

 

#2 Set Boundaries and Learn to Say No

As moms, we often feel the need to say “yes” to everything—whether it’s volunteering at school, attending social events, or taking on extra tasks at work. But overcommitting can leave you feeling drained and resentful.

 

Instead, try practicing polite but firm responses: For example, “I’d love to help, but I need to prioritise my family right now,” or “I can’t take this on, but I appreciate you thinking of me.”

 

Communicate with your family: Let your partner and kids know when you need uninterrupted time for yourself. It’s okay to ask for space to recharge.

 

#3 Seek Support and Delegate

You don’t have to do it all alone. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a smart and necessary part of managing your mental health.

• Involve your partner: Share household responsibilities and parenting duties. Create a schedule that works for both of you.
• Lean on your village: Whether it’s family, friends, or a trusted babysitter, don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it.
• Join a mom community: There are many online and offline support groups for moms locally. Connecting with others who understand your struggles can be incredibly comforting.

 

#4 Schedule Your “Me Time”

If you wait for the “perfect time” to take a break, it might never come. Instead, treat “me time” as a non-negotiable part of your routine. Here’s what you can do:

• Block it out in your calendar: Whether it’s 15 minutes or an hour, schedule time for yourself just like you would for any other important appointment.
• Choose activities that recharge you: This could be reading a book, taking a walk, practicing yoga, or even just sitting in silence.
• Get creative with your time: If evenings are too busy, wake up 30 minutes earlier to enjoy some quiet time before the day begins.

 

Building a Sustainable Self-Care Routine

Now that we’ve explored practical ways to prioritise your mental health, let’s talk about how to turn these small steps into a sustainable self-care routine. The key is to create habits that feel manageable and meaningful, so they become a natural part of your daily life—not just another item on your to-do list.

 

1. Identify What Recharges You

Self-care looks different for everyone. For some, it might be a quiet walk in the park; for others, it could be catching up with a friend or indulging in a creative hobby. Take a moment to reflect on what truly brings you joy and relaxation.

• Ask yourself: What activities make me feel refreshed and energised?
• Experiment with different self-care practices to see what resonates with you.
• Remember, self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate—it just needs to feel good.

 

2. Create a Realistic Routine

As a busy mom, your self-care routine needs to fit seamlessly into your life. Here’s how to make it work:

• Start small: If you’re new to self-care, begin with just 5-10 minutes a day. Gradually increase the time as it becomes a habit.
• Anchor it to existing habits: Pair your self-care activities with things you already do. For example, practice deep breathing while waiting for the kids’ school bus or listen to a calming podcast during your commute.
• Be flexible: Some days will be busier than others, and that’s okay. Adjust your routine as needed, but try to stay consistent.

 

Here’s an example of a simple self-care routine for a busy mom:

• Morning: 5 minutes of stretching or mindful breathing before the day starts.
• Afternoon: A 10-minute walk during lunch or while the kids are at an activity.
• Evening: Spend 15 minutes reading, journaling, or enjoying a hobby before bed.

 

3. Celebrate Small Wins

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that self-care has to be “perfect” to count. But the truth is, even the smallest efforts matter. Did you take a few deep breaths during a stressful moment? That’s a win. Did you say “no” to an extra commitment so you could rest? Another win. Acknowledge and celebrate these small victories—they’re proof that you’re prioritising yourself.

 

4. Overcoming Guilt and Embracing Self-Care

One of the biggest barriers to self-care for moms is guilt. You might feel like you’re neglecting your responsibilities or being selfish by taking time for yourself. But here’s the thing: self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. So, do this:

• Reframe your mindset: Think of self-care as an investment in your ability to care for others. When you’re well-rested and emotionally balanced, you’re a better mom, partner, and friend.
• Let go of perfection: You don’t have to be the “perfect” mom who does it all. It’s okay to ask for help, take breaks, and prioritise your needs.
• Repeat affirmations: Remind yourself daily: I deserve to take care of myself. My well-being matters.

 

So, what do you think? Is it doable? It could be easier said than done, but once you start blending these practical tips into your daily life, you’ll start to see how self-care can become a sustainable and rewarding part of your routine.

 

Remember, you are doing an incredible job, and you deserve to feel good while doing it. Take that walk, enjoy that cup of tea, or simply sit in silence for a few moments. You’ve earned it. Because when you take care of yourself, you’re not just nurturing your own well-being—you’re creating a happier, healthier life for your family. And that’s something to be proud of.

 

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How Do YOU Steal Time For Self-Care?

We asked moms how they try and steal time for some self-care and here’s what they have to say…

 

Farah Zulaikha

“My me-time is going out alone to fulfil any cravings peacefully, then pickup an iced matcha latte on the way home, so I don’t leave my kids with the helper at home for too long. Sometimes I sneak in some clothes shopping for my daughters, then after that I rush home, because I couldn’t wait to get home to get them to try it on.🤣”

Liyana Husni

“Sometimes, I’ll hide in the toilet for sometime and soak myself in the bathtub. Or I will drive-thru alone to clear my mind.”

Nurasyikin Abdul Khalid

“I am working from 8am-6pm but I still feel burnt out after working hours to spend time with my daughter and husband. So once I’ve arrived home after work, I will just ask my husband to look after our child for like 1 hour while I’m in the hot shower, plus no cooking- only take outs/delivery food. Sometimes he wonders why am I still burning out even though I have most of the day without the kid. My simple answer is I dont want to be pressured, no demands, no responsibility. For just 1 hour.”

 

WNSA

“My husband opted to send my kid to playschool since he was 2 even though I’m a SAHM. He insisted on a full day but I didn’t agree. During night time, he would take over and I would shut myself in the room and do whatever I wanted with a cup of coffee. I get overstimulated easily especially if there is too much physical touch. The key is to have a supportive partner though. A privilege some women don’t have.”

 

Sheba

“I try my best to go for pilates when my son leaves for school and before picking him up. I’ll buy an iced mocha from the cafe near his school too.”

 

Hani Idayu

Before my son started preschool, my me-time was during the nights only after he’s gone to sleep, where i’d spend time doing whatever hobby I picked up (macrame, crochet, miniatures and Lego sets) but bila morning penat tak cukup tidur 😂.

Now he’s in preschool, I try to selit running, car karaoke sessions or food hunting while he’s not around. Monthly meet-up at brunch with my gfs to recharge my social battery helps a lot too!