When it comes to autism, every child is different. Many of us do not understand that there is not one autism but many subtypes, most influenced by a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
But what exactly is autism? Autism, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD), refers to a broad range of conditions characterised by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviours, speech and nonverbal communication. If you have friends who have autistic children, you’ll find that each child has a distinct set of strengths and challenges.
Understanding a child that has autism can be challenging, so we’ve listed down 10 things that every child with autism wishes you knew so we can be more aware and compassionate.
#1 You Can’t See or Tell Autism
Shockingly, ignorance among the general population still exists till today when it comes to the Autism Spectrum. Many people still assume that children with autism have certain identifiable facial features or particular habits. But as it has already been mentioned, every child with autism is different and mild cases of autism are common.
These stereotypes and lack of understanding often make things difficult for parents. It’s especially hard in the case of schools, coaches, or other organisations who deny a diagnosis because it is not easily seen.
#2 No ‘Babysitter’ Please
Generally, when parents need a night away, they hire a babysitter. Simple right? Well, not if you’re the parent of a child on the Autism Spectrum. Kids with autism exhibit different behaviours than neuro-typical children. For one, parents leaving isn’t just annoying, it’s disturbing on an emotional level. That makes it very hard for an autistic child to settle down while a babysitter is running the house.
#3 Our Brain Process Things Differently
Children on the Autism Spectrum process things that others often take for granted very differently. Crowds, loud noises, and bright or blinking lights, among countless other things, can often lead to extreme anxiety or a total meltdown on the part of the child. As one parent of an autistic child stated, “If you are in a supermarket and your child is getting overwhelmed and maybe making a scene, it makes it ten times worse when people around you are giving you dirty looks or making comments.”
#4 We Have Feelings Too
Some common challenges children on the Autism Spectrum and their parents face is the assumption (by other children, other parents, and even teachers) that because an autistic child cannot verbalise or express their feelings like a neuro-typical child might, those feelings must not exist.
But nothing could be further from the truth. As one parent bluntly describes, “Even children who don’t speak can still hear you. Don’t talk to me over my children like they aren’t there, especially if you’re going to sympathetically tell me what a saint I am for dealing with a horrible situation every day. I’m not a saint. I’m their mother. And she HEARS YOU and understands that you’re saying she’s a burden to me.”
#5 We are Not Dumb
Kids with autism have the potential to be absolutely brilliant. They’re also talented, philosophical, kind, and creative. This is something much of society fails to see, but in truth, the autistic mind is simply wired differently than those not on the Autism Spectrum.
Hans Christian Andersen, Emily Dickinson, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Michelangelo, Mozart, and Sir Isaac Newton (to name but a very few!) — all are said to have exhibited autistic tendencies.
#6 “Autistic” is Not the Sole Definition
A child on the Autism Spectrum is first and foremost a child. Autism is simply something that has happened to that child. Make an effort to see someone on the Autism Spectrum for their unique personality, talents, likes and dislikes, not the differences brought about by their autism diagnosis.
#7 Stick to a Schedule
Children on the Autism Spectrum often have a difficult time adapting to changes in routine. Taking a vacation, weekend away, or even just a spontaneous trip to the zoo can be a bit of a challenge. Even the best-laid plans can go awry and cause total havoc.
#8 We Still Enjoy Playing with Peers
A study done in Australia found that 42% of teens and adults on the Autism Spectrum do not feel comfortable leaving their own home because they often feel others treat them negatively. Not only is this heart-breaking for the affected individuals, it also leads to further misunderstanding and stigma about autism by the general public.
Children with autism like to play with their peers, and largely benefit from being included in things like play dates and sports teams.
#9 Don’t Pity Me Simply Because We’re Autistic
Autistic children are writing books, making films, creating blogs, and making all sorts of other ground-breaking achievements. Yet, when a parent tells someone their child is autistic, they are usually met with an unnecessary apology or look of pity.
Autism is not something to be pitied, and our society’s outlook should change to reflect that.
Autism is not something to be pitied, and our society’s outlook should change to reflect that.
#10 Please Stay Calm If I’m Having a Meltdown
Meltdowns occur because children on the Autism Spectrum often feel overwhelmed by their surroundings. Therefore, a sense of calm is required to end the meltdown and restore a child’s feeling of control.
During a meltdown, the parent will likely be busy trying to calm their child. A helpful person standing by shouldn’t approach the parent and child. They can help by trying to make the immediate area as peaceful as possible.
As Autism Speaks recommends, “Scan the area around the child for sights and sounds that may have contributed to the meltdown… Is there an alarm that can be silenced? A flashing display that can be temporarily turned off?
Lastly and most importantly, also please be patient. View autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Let’s look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given them.
