There was a moment in a moms’ community WhatsApp group that made everyone pause.

 

A mother sent a message that said: “I don’t want to be a mother anymore.”

 

For a few seconds, no one replied.

 

Then came the messages. One mom said she understood. Another admitted she had cried the night before. Someone joked about wanting to disappear into a hotel room alone for two days.

 

Beneath the jokes and emojis, many mothers understood exactly what she meant.

 

Motherhood can feel heavy. There are days when the exhaustion goes beyond lack of sleep. Days when mothers are needed so many times for so many things, that they no longer know what they need themselves.

 

Many mothers carry an invisible list in their minds at all times. School reminders, meals, laundry, bills, appointments, emotions, routines. Even when they are sitting down, their minds are still working.

 

Why This Sentence Feels So Taboo

Mothers are often expected to be endlessly patient, nurturing and grateful. They are told to enjoy every moment because their children will grow up too fast. They are expected to keep going no matter how tired they are.

 

Many mothers struggle quietly because they worry about being judged. They worry that people will think they are selfish, ungrateful or failing.

 

That is why so many of these conversations happen in private, late at night, in WhatsApp groups between mothers who feel safe enough to say what they are really feeling.

 

For many women, simply being able to say the words out loud can feel like a release.

 

 

 

What Mothers Usually Mean When They Say It

When a mother says she does not want to be a mother anymore, there is often a lot sitting underneath those words.

 

For some, it is burnout from constantly caring for everyone else without enough rest, support or time to themselves. For others, it is resentment from carrying most of the invisible load at home while everyone else seems to continue life as normal.
Many mothers also struggle with a loss of identity. They miss who they were before motherhood, whether that is work, hobbies, friendships, freedom or even basic alone time. Over time, they can start to feel like they are no longer seen as themselves, only as “mom.”

 

There is also the feeling of being unseen. Mothers do so much every day, yet it can feel like nobody notices how much they carry mentally and emotionally.

 

According to Nabilah Burhauddin, Lead Clinical Psychologist at Sage Centre, these feelings often point to emotional overload, burnout and feeling unsupported.

 

“I do believe that when a mother says she doesn’t want to be a mother anymore, it’s usually not a literal desire, but more a reflection of emotional and mental overload, or burnout. It can point to underlying issues like exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed or unsupported (even when they are surrounded by supportive people and environment), and even a loss of one’s identity,” says Nabilah.

 

“In some cases, it may also be linked to postpartum depression, maternal burnout, depression, or anxiety, which means proper support is really important. More often than not, it is actually a cry for help and a sign that something needs attention and care.”

 

 

 

What Mothers Actually Need in That Moment

In moments like this, most mothers are not looking for advice or reminders to be grateful.

 

They need rest that is uninterrupted, time alone without guilt, and help that is offered without having to repeatedly ask for it.
As Nabilah says, “in those moments, mothers often need not a quick solution or judgment but some emotional validation, reassurance, and a sense that they are not alone in their struggle.”

 

She also adds that, “support systems can help by listening, reducing pressure or expectations, offering practical help, and encouraging professional support when needed, as this can buffer emotional overwhelm. Or even encourage them to build or connect or join any support groups with other mothers.”

 

So for this Mother’s Day, it is worth remembering that when a mother says, “I don’t want to be a mother anymore,” it is rarely about motherhood itself. It is often a way of saying she does not want to do it alone anymore, does not want to feel invisible anymore, and needs help, rest, and someone to finally see that she has been carrying too much for too long.